A Baby's Eve Tribute to Mr. Penny

Marriage has been a very pleasant thing for me.  Sure, it was tough at first figuring out what kind of family we would make with our two different backgrounds, but we have been very happy ever since.  From what I hear, everything will change on Tuesday when this new little baby becomes more high-maintenance.  So before then, I wanted to write down what exactly it is about my husband that makes him so wonderful—just in case, heaven forbid, I ever forget.

Tristan is my soul mate.  He tells me he doesn’t believe in that stuff, but I’m sure of it.  I see no coincidences in our story.  We met in Eugene, a place I never would’ve been had not many things been in order:  graduating two years early from BYUH, having a research mentor who recently came from UO and recommended I go there, his having waited to take a job down here until after we spent a good year getting to know each other, my original “the one” rejecting perfectly-awesome me for no reason whatsoever…  That type of thing.  Any one of those things could have gone differently and prevented what we now have in our superior marriage.

So allow me to write a little about this sweet angel of a man…  Everyone can see how incredibly handsome he is, so I’ll skip over to his other good qualities.  He is the least shallow person I know.  He looks at a person and sees them as a whole soul—inside and out.  He fell in love with me at my fattest.  I never really felt pressed to read him my patriarchal blessing because he already saw me in that light—he saw the potential that God sees in me.  

He is a fabulous listener.  He has his moments of distraction or sleepiness, but he loves talking to me and listening to my rambles.  He gives great feedback and insight without making me feel stupid for things I’ve overlooked.  This quality makes him very comfortable to talk to and it will be a huge blessing to our children too.  

He is hilarious—in the silliest kind of way.  He is a curious, fun-loving type of guy and I am lucky enough to be the only person who gets to see all of it.  I am always giggling around him because he is bouncing off the walls with such a happy energy.  After he brought me home on our first date he gave me a dance-hug.  He has no inhibitions with me and it makes me so happy because for him that translates into a more positive and energetic character, while inhibitions are usually what prevent men from being rude, negative or inappropriate.  Because he has such a pure nature, I can only love him more the more I get to know him.  I feel like he masked things when we first met to throw me off his track of righteousness.  He wouldn’t tell me about how diligently he studied his scriptures or what leadership positions he had on his mission.  I had to learn about those things over the years.  

I also got to learn about how forgiving and kind he is.  No matter what happened between us, he always forgave me and renewed his friendship toward me.  If it wasn’t for his good forgiving soul we would not be where we are today.  He has in turn helped me to forgive others and given me peace through that.  

We can always come to a consensus on important topics.  We agree on many issues, but when we disagree we tell and listen to each other’s reasoning and make a decision together on what is right for our family.  It helps a lot that he’s encouraged me to open up and talk to him when I’m upset, rather than attempting to get over things on my own.  This wouldn’t work so well, except that he in turn makes a special effort to listen to my point of view and talk through it with me to understand instead of getting defensive.  We’ve come to agreements on number of kids, how much to have in savings, and even where to park.  Nothing is too small for us to talk about.  

It helps a lot to know that we came into this marriage with sacrifices.  I recognize the sacrifices he’s made for me and he recognizes the sacrifices that I’ve made for him just to have this marriage.  Change and sacrifice is a big part of who Tristan is.  Some men grow confident in their strengths and focus on those things to make them feel superior.  Tristan has impressed me by his ability to put aside pride and recognize things that he can do better.  I know that our happiness in marriage is so dependent on this because neither of us is perfect and not only recognizing but actually improving upon our weaknesses is incredibly important to developing as a couple and, now, as a family.  

Whenever I feel lousy about making a mistake or ruining something for him, he always makes me feel better by having a great attitude no matter what.  He lets me know that I am important to him and birthday dinners and how much ice cream I left in the freezer (none) are insignificant matters.  On the other hand, he always shows me that he appreciates when I clean or cook or do anything special for him.  

Another thing I love about him is how much he reads.  I was skeptical at first of whether he was enough of an intellectual for me, but like so many other things he showed me in time that he is very wise—he just isn’t as in to telling people what to do as I am.  He eats books up—mostly non-fiction.  He will read several books in the time it takes me to finish one.  He loves learning about people’s experiences, and what’s even better is that he learns from books because he applies every good principle he studies to his own life.  

He’s the type of person that everyone loves.  He is so pleasant to be around because he is kind and humble and honest.  When we got engaged a lady smirked at my comment that he was the most wonderful man in the world.  She told me I would find out that wasn’t true.  A year and a half later has only proved it to be truer than I even thought then.  He is definitely the most wonderful man in the world and I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him as my own.